13 Lessons I Learned From Networking For People Who Hate Networking
Recently I read the book Networking For People Who Hate Networking by Devora Zack after hearing her on another podcast. For me, this book was enthralling, especially as I transitioned to a new job. I am excited to share some of the lessons I learned while reading this book today. If networking doesn’t come easy to you, I know you’ll enjoy the content.
Related Listening: Freelance Marketing And Networking Tips With Latasha James
Listen On Your Platform Of Choice: Apple | Google Play | Spotify | Stitcher
Introverts think to talk while extroverts talk to think. This is a small lesson, but understanding this has helped me understand so much about some of the interactions I’ve had with extroverts in the past.
It’s okay to be in the middle. In chapter 2, we got to assess ourselves. I landed where I thought I would, as a centrovert with an introverted leaning, I consider myself an introvert on most social settings, but I am glad I can call up my extroverted tendencies when I need to do so.
Both sides have benefits and hazards. When it comes to networking, it’s super easy to sing the praises of extroverts. Extroverts can be horrible at follow-up and give out way too much information about themselves and others, though. Introverts do have some qualities that make them great networkers, and this is worth celebrating. For example, introverts are great at reading nonverbal cues.
How we frame and talk about events makes a huge difference. We have to be careful about how we talk about events to ourselves. Our mind is listening and turning our inner dialogue into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Treat others how they want to be treated. This is such a simple concept, but it still blew my mind. This requires getting to know others and sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone. Instead of treating your extroverted friend like an introvert and downplaying their celebrations, you might need to play into the poms and circumstance. They may need to lose their inclination for grand gestures to appease your tendencies.
Prep, percolate, and pace. These notions, introduced in chapter six, are mentioned throughout the rest of the book. These help you by allowing you to:
Prep: Do your research before diving in so you can be prepared and at ease.
Percolate: Create deeper relationships with those you network with.
Pace: Yourself. Don’t get overwhelmed. Strive for quality over quantity.
Have ideas in your back pocket. Throughout the book, Devora shares sample questions and thought starters. Having these ideas in your back pocket allows you to whip them out when you need them most. Prep by understanding the type of event you’ll be going to. Then share those questions and rheas when it makes sense for you.
Create well-structured goals around how you want to network. You might have heard of SMART Goals. Debora shares a similar framework for goal setting.
Positive: Zack shares that Positive goals are more likely to be achieved. Make sure you are sharing the goal with yourself in a positive way. The example Zack gives in the book is: “I am going to stop avoiding networking events.” Instead, it should be something positive like, “I will attend two networking events in the next four months.”
Control: Goals You Set Should be reasonably within the realm of your control. Don’t set goals that require others to do the majority of the heavy lifting.
Context: Stretch goals are cool, but make your primary goals achievable.
Ecological: Make goals that make sense and don’t conflict with important things like sleep and health.
Measurable: How will you know you achieved a goal if you can’t measure it? Set goals with numbers and deadlines.
Create micro speeches or elevator pitches. You never know when you might need a quick patch to sell yourself or connect with someone,
You don’t have to talk the entire way to your destination but make some small talk. Zack provides advice to pick a few times throughout your travel to communicate with your row or seatmate. You can chat when y’all are settling in, when the snack cart comes, and when y‘all are ready to get off/land. Have some polite conversation enders (provided in the book) prepared for when you are done chatting.
You can make events and activities that other people are interested in. If you’re an introvert listening to this Dod cast, don’t shy away from hosting networking events. Some introverts need your unique point of view, so the next time they go to a networking event, they are represented nicely.
Perfect the art of the follow-up. You’re just talking to people if you don’t.
Personal networking is just as important as professional networking. Don’t be afraid to find your people and connect on a personal level.